


It's All In Your Head (I'm Still Right Here)

by spocksbrowneyes



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Nightmares, Post-Star Trek: Into Darkness, Vulcans Purring
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-11
Updated: 2020-09-11
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:41:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26408149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spocksbrowneyes/pseuds/spocksbrowneyes
Summary: After the events of Into Darkness, Spock is still traumatized.
Relationships: James T. Kirk/Spock
Comments: 2
Kudos: 146





	It's All In Your Head (I'm Still Right Here)

Jim’s eyes opened, it was still dark outside and the chronometer read 01:05. It was getting colder in San Francisco as winter bit in, and lately, he’d employed the use of more blankets than usual. That was because of Spock. While sleeping with someone generally entailed the opposite, Spock’s body temperature was about 8 degrees cooler than that of a human. Meaning, it felt like sleeping with a fricking ice pack. Jim didn’t mind though, but he had noticed something. Since he got out of the hospital, Spock had been clingy, sticking close to him, trying to do whatever he could to help him. Most recently, he’d started cuddling very close to Jim while they slept. As in, he had opted to lay his head in Jim’s chest instead of his pillow, sleeping as close as he possibly could. It wasn’t a well-known fact that Spock liked to snuggle, for someone who didn’t like to be touched, it was surprising. Well, maybe not because if he trusted someone as much as he trusted Jim, then he could really care less. Even then, this wasn’t normal. 

There wasn’t an inch of room between them, and Spock wasn’t as relaxed as he usually was, rather he was considerably tense. Also, the way he was laying couldn’t be comfortable, it really wasn’t as Spock had woken up with a sore back since the change. He was mumbling something, quietly, pain in his voice. While it wasn’t easy to make out, it couldn’t be in standard.

“ _ Sanu...sanu tor fam hal-tor. Tor fam trasha.” _

Jim kneaded the back of Spock’s neck, the shorter, more furred texture to his hair under Jim’s fingers. It always seemed to calm Spock down, the pressure and motion making him limp and sleepy. The sudden ragged breath that went through Spock startled Jim, even more so when Spock shoved himself off like he was scared to be there.

Jim reached out, “Spock? Spock are you alright?”

He was breathing heavily, and eyes wide. There was a very light sheen of sweat on his forehead, and he was shuddering a bit.

“Spock, Spock you’re okay. There’s nothing to be afraid of. You’re okay,” Jim soothed.

Spock’s voice was rough, and his body was more taught than before, “ _ Tor fam trasha. Sanu... _ ”

Jim put his arms around Spock’s shoulders and pulled him into his chest, “I’m right here, I’m here. Spock, it’s Jim.” 

He didn’t have the slightest clue as to what Spock was saying. But Jim didn’t really think that mattered right now. A language barrier wasn’t important compared to helping Spock in Jim’s eyes. Fear was torturous to Spock, he felt it so strongly, and didn’t know what to do with it, because he never felt such terror except for when he was in his own head.

“ _ Tor fam hal-tor!”  _ came a strangled sob, yet he didn’t push himself away this time, he clung tighter to Jim.

Jim tightened his hold in return, “Spock! Snap out of it!”

Jim couldn’t understand what he said next, he was burying his face into Jim’s shirt too much for his already confusing words to make any sense.

“Spock, it’s okay!” Jim grabbed his hand, praying the touch would break out of whatever he was trapped in.

There was a sudden familiarity in Spock’s eyes, it hadn’t been there before.

“Jim?” Spock panted.

He nodded, “Yeah, it’s me. You alright?”

Spock wiggled his hand on of Jim’s to touch his wrist, his voice was barely audible, “You are okay.”

“Mmhm,” Jim hummed, “Are you?”

Spock paused for a moment, looking around like the environment would hold some answer, he nodded but said nothing. Jim looked at him in the dark, there were tears streaming down his cheeks, but he wasn’t making a sound save for his breathing, which was easing back to its normal rate. Spock went back to clinging to him, and Jim held onto him. Spock didn’t dream often, but when he did, they were always nightmares, sick, twisted, and terrifying. Reminding him of all the things he wished he could forget, all the people he’d lost, or all the chances he had to lose them. Before, he would dream about his mother, and now, Jim was pretty sure he was being taken back to the radiation chamber. He was clinging to his chest, snuggled right where his heart was, beating in his chest, absolutely alive.

Jim kneaded his fingers into Spock’s shoulder blades, “Spock?”

“Hm?” Spock mumbled in reply, tired from the onslaught of emotion and the far more relaxing motion of Jim rubbing his shoulders.

“You okay now?”

Spock nodded, melting into Jim’s touch. Jim was happy about it, Spock hadn’t been that relaxed since before what happened with Kahn, too busy with the ship, and then stress when Jim was recovering to do that. Jim had noticed that the more often he relaxed this way, the better he felt. He needed something beyond meditation to account for the extra stress and emotional stimulation he got from working with others who didn’t shield emotion. There was a very soft, barely noticeable reverberation from Spock. Jim smiled, it was one of his favorite things about him. He was purring. Something that was rare, but meant absolute content on Spock’s part. And it made Jim content too.

Jim remembered the first time he’d heard Spock do it. He was doing the same thing, massaging the tension out of his shoulders, only Spock was sick with the horrible case flu he seemed to get every winter. Jim didn’t know Vulcans could purr when it happened, freaked out, called Bones, who didn’t know that either because apparently it was a very secretive fact, also freaked out only less obviously, and called M’Benga, who didn’t even come but really just deadpanned to them that Vulcans could purr, get over it, and hung up. That was almost entirely due to the fact that for some reason he and Bones did not get along in the slightest because when he saw the three of them in person, he wished both Spock and Jim well when he left while he and McCoy glared at each other. Their rivalry aside, they had gotten the answer they needed, so what the heck.

“Jim?” Spock murmured.

He gave him a kiss on the forehead, “Yeah?”

“Kup ashaya du,” Spock mumbled into his chest.

Jim hugged him, “I love you too.” 

Slowly, they drifted off the sleep, together.

**Author's Note:**

> Sanu...sanu tor fam hal-tor. Tor fam trasha: Please...please do not go. Do not leave  
> Tor fam trasha. Sanu...: Do not leave. Please...  
> Tor fam hal-tor!: Do not go!  
> Kup ashaya du: I love you


End file.
